Attachment is not Love
Detachment is not Hate
Let just talk about this. Many of us are still confused that how we can love someone without being attached. I ask one of my friends,
Do you want to end the attachment with your family, friends, and relatives?
He replied “it is impossible because love means how close you are attached to that person”, well that’s the common answer by many of us.
The question arises on how any relationship whether with a person or thing or animal will be without attachment. We need to understand this.“Love” is not attachment; “Attachment” does not love.
“Love” is not attachment; “Attachment” does not love.
Attachment is proportional to hurt, which means the more we are attached the more we will get hurt.
Here’s the Budhha’s message :
“Desire is the root cause of suffering. The dropping of desire brings an end to suffering.”
This is not to say that we go through life without love; rather, that we redefine what “love” means, and accept a healthier alternative; a definition that does not involve addiction, craving, and clinging but rather lightness and compassion.
“To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something, and it is only such love that can know freedom.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
How we all are emotionally attached?
When my mind is connected to their mind. So if one is upset the other is naturally upset. Even if he is not then they will ask “Are you not upset seeing me like this?”, it means you don’t love me.
If one is hurt then the other is hurt too.
If one is angry then the other one is angry too
If one is crying then the other one will also cry.
we say I love you so much that I can feel your pain and all go in the pain at the same time instead of healing the person who is in pain.
That’s one way of living.
When my emotions are attached which means if the other person fluctuates I fluctuate too. And what I do to them is I add my pain to there existing pain and then those who are family, friends, and relatives instead of sitting and talking to us they prefer to go out and talk to others or a complete stranger,
Why? because they are not attached to them and not judgemental about them.
The person is already in so much pain, all they need is not advice, but needs a very strong vibration of healing.
We have to understand two truths in our heart:
- We will eventually lose everything we cherish
- But it is life’s fragility that makes each relationship more — not less — precious
Too often we focus on the second bullet and deny the reality of the first. We foster anxieties and fears over “losing” our partner, of them “leaving” us. We deny ourselves the full potential for happiness.
The difference between healthy love and attachment is: Can I step back and allow composure, spaciousness, and caring?
If you’re honest, the answer is clear.
“Love with Detached state”
When I am detached which means your state of mind doesn’t affect my state of mind. I am able to remain who am I.
It’s only in a detached state one can experience original love and respect for another person.
Detachment = Unconditional Love
Attachment = Conditional Love
Unconditional Love means where my love is not dependent on any conditions.
The more we are detached which means my state of mind doesn’t fluctuate with your behavior or actions then I am able to radiate unconditional love and respect.
So do u want to get detached?
People have taken a very wrong meaning of detachment. For them detachment is like being indifferent, cold behavior, unloving or loves avoidants.
That’s, not the true meaning!
What is detachment?
Detachment means being more for them. Having no expectations from them juts being your self always, irrespective of what they did to you, not getting disturbed by their behavior.
So when you are in detached state and when your family members or friends or partner are going through any issues, they will not go out, instead of, they will come and talk to you because irrespective of what they have done and what pain they are going through you are going to stand with them like a powerful soul radiating love.
“Not giving up the things in this world, but accepting the fact and to be continuously aware that nothing is permanent.” ~Aditya Ajmera
Detachment does not mean aloofness, indifference, apathy, but rather acceptance. It’s love without anxiety. It’s love without presumption. It’s love with lightness.
The other way of living is in a detached state.
when the person is in the pain but you are radiating positive energy to them, the energy of love and care. So when,
- They are upset we are Powerful.
- They are angry we are Peaceful.
- They are rude we are sweet.
- They are irritated we are Calm.
